There Should Be A Law Against That....

Like eating brussel sprouts, the color mauve, bad fake accents, or dividing one Mad Men season into two. Some things just aren't meant for this world. Wearing Speedos is one of them. I know it is a common thing to see men wearing Speedos in say, Europe or tropical islands but we are in Merica and while we are a bunch of red neck inbreds without a clue, there is never an excuse for this travesty. First of all, it goes against nature. Why in tarnation would one think it looks cool to pour your 'goods' into some tight fitting banana hammock? News flash. It isn't sexy and I don't care if you are wearing them under the guise of 'workout attire', I still don't buy it. Guys, I experienced some trauma this morning. As I was innocently walking my dog, this creepy runner guy jogs past. Normally I wouldn't think twice. This time however I did a double take. We are talking about a dude wearing a neon green Speedo, no shirt, and one compression sock. Egads. Even my dog stopped to take a dump while I threw up in my mouth. Hey, I'm all for being comfortable in your own skin but sometimes you need to think outside of the box and consider the effect you are having on people around you. All I know is I witnessed a train wreck this morning and it's gonna be a heck of a long time before I get that painful image out of my brain.


  1. I agree with everything you wrote, but there should always be an exception. And that exception is this guy:
    Southern Comfort | Beach | Whatever's Comfortable:

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  5. This was hilarious!! On your FB post about SeƱor Banana Hammock you didn't mention the compression sock. This just adds to the awful image that is indelibly etched in my mind. Sometimes your life is mine. Why is it that you and I get to experience these wonderful things, such as men jogging in a Speedo and a compression sock? Why us??

  6. I just read the comments from "Annonymous". First of all, we all know that if you aren't willing to sign your name to something like this then it isn't even worth the "paper" it is written on. Secondly, clearly SOMEONE is reading your blog because ANONYMOUS HAD TO HAVE READ IT IN ORDER TO COMMENT ON IT! Anonymous just proved him/herself wrong. Not to mention, you have had these blog entries published by others, which in and of itself speaks volumes about your blog. Keep it up! Thirdly, (is that a word?) Anonymous' comments reek of a jealous and bitter ex-husband/wife/lover, or maybe an envious new spouse/lover of the aforementioned ex. I hate the word "lover", by the way. Whoever Anonymous is, they somehow feel either threatened by you and your awesomeness, are resentful and jealous of your happiness, or are angry with themself for letting you get away and are directing their anger at you. Silly little acrid one...whether you are jealous of Jessica's successes, are bitter because of her happiness, or are resentful towards her for whatever transgressions may or may not have occurred, it is time to move on. Move on in your life or move on to the blog. If you can't move on then at the very least man/woman up and sign your name, coward.

  7. Oh, btw, Jessica, if you didn't know, Mental Chatter is Karen Bajpai. Hahaha! :)


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