Friday, August 15, 2014
Like eating brussel sprouts, the color mauve, bad fake accents, or dividing one Mad Men season into two. Some things just aren't meant for this world. Wearing Speedos is one of them. I know it is a common thing to see men wearing Speedos in say, Europe or tropical islands but we are in Merica and while we are a bunch of red neck inbreds without a clue, there is never an excuse for this travesty. First of all, it goes against nature. Why in tarnation would one think it looks cool to pour your 'goods' into some tight fitting banana hammock? News flash. It isn't sexy and I don't care if you are wearing them under the guise of 'workout attire', I still don't buy it. Guys, I experienced some trauma this morning. As I was innocently walking my dog, this creepy runner guy jogs past. Normally I wouldn't think twice. This time however I did a double take. We are talking about a dude wearing a neon green Speedo, no shirt, and one compression sock. Egads. Even my dog stopped to take a dump while I threw up in my mouth. Hey, I'm all for being comfortable in your own skin but sometimes you need to think outside of the box and consider the effect you are having on people around you. All I know is I witnessed a train wreck this morning and it's gonna be a heck of a long time before I get that painful image out of my brain.