Monday, February 22, 2010


Some people know my story and the environment in which I was raised. Out of respect for my dear Mother, I'm not going to elaborate on details so I can preserve her privacy. She endured many years of grief and abuse and the past is not something she likes to share openly. Not that many people even read this thing, it is just the principle behind it. You will have to wait for my novel! HEHEHEHE!

Suffice to say, there were several years of abuse in different forms which ultimately turned our lives upside down and left severe scars that both of us battle to this day. I will be honest, many of those years have been filled with "Why?" In my life thus far, I have not seen the reasons for that period of my life, and I may never see it. I will say I experienced the loving hand of God and His amazing protection over our lives. And, maybe that is all I need from those years. A witness to the power of a saving God. Yes, I believe in therapy because I believe God can put people in our lives to help us through the mire of despair and hurt. Granted, I'm on my 6th year of it but who is counting, right? Hey, I'm doing what I can to help with the economy :)

So, what is up with our stories? How do they define us? What purpose do they serve? Are we OK if we don't see any positive from it? Do we compare our lives with others, thinking theirs is so much better? DING, DING, DING! Oh, if I only didn't compare! I would be so much happier with life. I understand God has given each of us a story to live out, but do I claim that truth in my life?

Unfortunately, I missed John's message yesterday so I'm going to download it. Ray was telling me he asked 4 questions/concepts. The only one I heard so far resonated with me in a great way.
We all have a story to live that is being written by God. If we are busy looking at other people's stories, we aren't writing our own stories with God. An example given by John was if I am going to the gym, working out the same as the other person, eating the same foods, etc. and I'm not losing the weight like the other person, my instinct is "That isn't fair!" Well, guess what? Life isn't fair! (insert bad words here.) I am really challenged by this one because I know myself and others battle with self esteem issues. If you look closely at our family of origin we can probably figure out where it stems from and when it began to haunt us.
Let's fast forward to a day when mourning will be replaced with happiness and sorrow into joy. The trials and burdens of our lives are no match for the redeeming love of a gracious Father.

In the meantime, I guess I better focus on some good ol' storytellin'

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