Thursday, April 1, 2010

Holy Week

Each year my church sets up something very similar to the Stations of the Cross. They call it the Way of the Cross. I had never attended one before until yesterday. It was really beautiful. It is set up in the same style as the Catholic based stations, where you reflect on each event leading up to Christ's death on the cross.

Now, since I use this blog for a journaling of sorts, one has to bear with me as I quote snippets of verses, thoughts, etc. It really helps me process and retain. So, there ya go!

My problem with Easter is I feel (very) heavily the guilt of my sin which ultimately cost Christ His life. Even though He willingly chose to pay the enormous price for our redemption, I really struggle with feeling the victory over the grave because I'm still back reflecting on His suffering. After talking with a close friend about it today, I gathered that I may not be truly feeling God's forgiveness of my sin nature. I'm so stuck in the guilt and sin of the wrong I have done in my life that it is hard for me to move past that. My friend was saying that, in a sense, I am rejecting God's atonement because I've never felt truly forgiven. She challenged me to ask God and claim His divine mercy and grace because He doesn't want me to be in that place, He wants me to rejoice and be grateful. Our God isn't a guilt producing God.

A couple reminders she shared with me about Christ's compassion and forgiveness were God's intervention in the lives of people like King David, the thief on the cross, Moses, Paul and tons others. It seemed the ones with the lowliest backgrounds were the ones God used the most.

Good stuff for me to ruminate over. As far as the East from the West, so far has He removed our transgressions...

Back to Way of the Cross observations, there were phrases that really stood out to me in response to Christ's sacrifice:

The day that true love died...

Tears were filling heaven's eyes...

All creation felt the Father's broken heart...

Your love that rescued the earth lives in me...

Love so amazing, so divine

demands my heart, my life, my all.

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