Yuck, this is a tough post and I'm not sure I should be writing today given my 'frail' condition. Once again I have been a blubbering fool for the last 12 hours so my emotional state is, shall we say, a bit compromised.
I lost my job yesterday. It is both a relief and a disappointment all in one, if that makes any sense. I think I knew it was coming from day one. You know how sometimes you get that nagging feeling that something isn't right? Well after 4 months of feeling like vomiting every morning before work I finally accepted the fact that I wasn't the right fit for this job. I loved the money and I absolutely adored my co workers. Lovely, amazing people that quickly became my friends. I truly never experienced that in any past employment. I will always be grateful for that.
My boss says due to my creative nature it is difficult for me to operate under the formalities this particular position requires (formalities meaning the legal nature that health insurance demands.) Apparently I'm a rebellious law breaker :) However, I think my boss nailed it. I am happy to say the parting was amicable and I left with some of my dignity in tact, thanks to their support and kindness.
Please bear with me however when I say that despite giving my all for this job I feel like a failure this morning and no amount of ice cream is going to make it go away.