Thursday, June 12, 2014

Up Up And Away On Anesthesia

Everyone has been so nice about the surgery I had yesterday. It was the first one I ever had so I was really scared - to the extreme. All the pre op, labs, descriptions of the 'procedure' the risks and checking my teeth and neck mobility for intubation put me a little on edge. Most people have endured far worst but for this wussy, low pain tolerance, high maintenance patient it was unnerving. Of course (and I could have told them this) they couldn't get an IV started in my arm. Apparently they had to find out for themselves and give the needle a few extra jabs 'just to be sure.' I accidentally said the "F" word (again) but they said I was entitled. YES! I had a good cry over the pain though if that gives you any idea at the large amount of wussiness I possess. Next the anesthesiologist came, a lovely gal especially because she started some fabulous drugs. Apparently the effect was fairly immediate as I started mumbling nonsense to my mother and asking for a vodka IV. Then I moved into bad mouthing a former employer and I made sure I told them to never refer a patient to their company! Oh my word. Talk about slander. And while I agree with what I said, I would never verbalize something like to a facility in which they try to solicit business. I don't remember anything else UNTIL THE RECOVERY ROOM. Holy crud. Apparently I did not 'gradually' awake as common. Instead I had to keep it interesting with wide eyes and flailing arms as they tried to pull my breathing tube out. Then they were trying to shove juice down me which I think I spit somewhere on someone. I'm pretty sure one of the lovely nurses was hit in the process. At any rate, I couldn't believe I was already done when in actuality I was out for a couple hours. Because they wanted to start me on a pain med regime, they ordered toast for me. Somehow it arrived and I found myself chatting up the nurse with, "How did you know Sourdough was my favorite? I mean, seriously you are amazing, how did you know this? You are the best nurse EVER!" Could it be I possibly told them when asked?? I will never know. I will say it got ugly after that because I decided my eye was my mouth and so I kept trying to feed my eye toast. "Why won't it work?" I wondered to myself. After that certain folks got an earful when I told them that 'boobies remind me of ice cream.' Gross. I have been in a pain med haze ever since and man have I ever loved that part. I have had to purposefully cut myself off despite some pain because I like the effect of the drugs a little too much. I have loved the feeling of in and out consciousness, the inability to move or process lucid thoughts. Warning sign for me. Back off the meds. All I can say is, my poor mother has been wonderful as she is kindly having me stay with her since I can't drive yet. She has heard much more from me than she ever wanted, including my bowel issues. However, she still made my favorite ice cream pie which conveniently enough, I have had no trouble getting down.

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