I Thought I Was Too Old To Have More Babies...

Let. That. Sink. In. I'm 43 years old for crying out loud. I thought that all the days of throw up, diarrhea, gassy tummies, sleepless nights and Tylenol drops were kind of a thing of the past. Do I have your attention yet? OK, now I can get on with my real story. I needed a one liner to lure you in.... But this is true about being too old for babies and all. I'm tired. Hear me when I say this. My children are easier than the 3 'babies' that have graced our home, canines who I refer to as Curly, Larry and Moe. 2 nights ago at 2 am ago Marley barfed in my hand. Then he barfed so hard all over the stairs we had to haul out the steam cleaner. By then it was 2:15 am. Things were looking up until Lucky spilled the barf water down his legs when trying to empty out the 'remains.' This resulted in the need for a shower and the start of a laundry load. Then it was 3 am. Then in all the commotion one of the other dogs had to take a whizz. Then the little Jack Russell (Amelia) had an accident. By then we couldn't sleep. Through all this mind you, the children slept blissfully, unlike their canine siblings. Figures. Then early mass started across the street. Our dogs hate Catholics because they park and walk right by the house, interrupting their nap schedule. By then the dogs were so amped up from barking at the parishoners they were hungry and ready for the park. But when we got back from the park, Marley waited until he got back inside and then barfed again. Then we were at the vet's early Sunday morning for emergency xrays, exams and 3 different drugs all to the tune of 300.00. Turns out he has case of wait for it....a stomach ache. The cool thing about this whole little tale? It happens. A lot. Oh well, we didn't need to make the house payment anyway... In the meantime some new hip decor has been added to the house. A steam cleaner in a really groovy color of lime green sits plugged in next to the couch in the living room. It sits there like a dare to Marley because you know the minute it gets put away that dog is gonna puke again. Just like a baby with diarrhea and a clean diaper.


  1. Oh my god I just laughed my ass off, what a great weekend.


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