So This Girl Walks Into A Nail Salon....

As I get older I am finding it more and more difficult, not to mention expensive, to keep myself looking presentable. Although one's definition of presentable can certainly differ. Anyway, I was blessed with really bad genes in the hair department AKA premature grey. Even though I am in my 40's I still blame my grey on said bad genes so whatever, it makes me feel better. Because I am not OK with exposing my grey at my 'ripe young age', I choose to cover it up with glaze, color and highlights. It takes my poor stylist 2 plus hours to make my grey a thing of the past. Bless her heart, she deserves a medal. But this... Let's take the whole nail salon experience. For example, today I went in for a manicure and walked out shellaced, waxed, massaged, buffed, tweezed, clipped and pedicured. I know we all have our salon experiences but in my opinion, if you want to feel really shitty about your appearance go into a salon and let them tell you all the reasons WHY you need a menu of services performed. When you hear those reasons, you will not only agree to it, you will be begging for it. As I was getting a manicure today, the stylist asks me if I wanted a pedicure while I am there. I tell her no because I was just there on Saturday and had one done. She says I should get another one. Why? Because 2 pedicures in 4 days simply isn't good enough? Next I find her frowning at my eyebrows. She tells me I need to wax them. Like today. Like immediately because they are way too bushy. Now I have to agree with her on this one. A unibrow was starting to become my reality. And all I can say is, when she started working on those bad boys she had to use , and I kid you not, scissors to thin them. But still I told her I was too scared of the pain She tells me no pain, no gain and at least I'm not having it done 'down there.' Now that she has me for the mani, pedi and eyebrows she knows she has me. "What about your moustache? We should wax that as well." Wait, who the heck said anything about a moustache? According to her I have one. Then she went for the kill...."Your arms are really hairy." I'm Italian OK? "Ahhhhh, that's why." OK, now you just sound racist. I visualized her tip getting smaller and smaller despite the fact my bill was growing bigger and bigger. Later that afternoon while at my daughter's 7th orientation we were standing in line so I shared with her about the stylist's arm hair comments. My daughter glanced around furtively, lowered her voice and said "Mom, can we please NOT talk about your arm hair right now?" Of all the nerve....