10 Ways To Know Your Children Are Being Raised By Wolves
I am pretty certain when I wasn't looking, a pack of wolves came in and took over my kid's manners. Polite behavior I ignorantly took for granted has moved to a bachelor pad on the edge of town.
I think it's pretty obvious my kids have joined a wolf pack, just hopefully not the same type depicted by 4 nefarious fellows in the movie, The Hangover.
Here's 10 reasons why:
1) Flushing the toilet has become way overrated, especially when anything more than pee is involved.
2) I'm finding water all over the bathroom floor instead of in the shower. Granted it makes mopping easier, but still...
3) Looking for opportunities to fart in public has become a contest.
4) Who needs silverware when you have hands?
5) Why bathe when you can smell like sweaty socks?
6) Changing underwear is too much hassle.
7) Wearing deodorant? As if.
8) Grunting answers to questions is easier than speaking.
9) Closing their mouths while eating? Yeah, right.
10) Their latest best friends are our dogs.
So I approached the subject with my son in hopes of finding 'positive solutions' to his canine like tendencies.
"Mom, you can't possibly think when you sniff my arm pits and butt to see if I stink, is normal polite behavior."
Who's part of the wolf pack now?
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I think it's pretty obvious my kids have joined a wolf pack, just hopefully not the same type depicted by 4 nefarious fellows in the movie, The Hangover.
Here's 10 reasons why:
1) Flushing the toilet has become way overrated, especially when anything more than pee is involved.
2) I'm finding water all over the bathroom floor instead of in the shower. Granted it makes mopping easier, but still...
3) Looking for opportunities to fart in public has become a contest.
4) Who needs silverware when you have hands?
5) Why bathe when you can smell like sweaty socks?
6) Changing underwear is too much hassle.
7) Wearing deodorant? As if.
8) Grunting answers to questions is easier than speaking.
9) Closing their mouths while eating? Yeah, right.
10) Their latest best friends are our dogs.
So I approached the subject with my son in hopes of finding 'positive solutions' to his canine like tendencies.
"Mom, you can't possibly think when you sniff my arm pits and butt to see if I stink, is normal polite behavior."
Who's part of the wolf pack now?
Yup, sounds about right. I've got a small pack of wolves at my house too.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA... This sounds exactly like my brother..
ReplyDeleteMaking a Monday morning easier for me, Dalai Mama :) Thank you for that..
LOL this is hilarious! Fortunately my sister has both a son and daughter, so she has less of the wolf pack to deal with. Love #3, though I must admit even my niece does this!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what happened but I don't think my comment posted. Anyway, love this list as well as your son's reaction to your desperate attempt to rescue him from the wolf pack.
ReplyDelete