Monday, October 27, 2014

It Costs A Lot Of Money To Be Responsible

I'm scared to actually start tallying up the amount of incurred expenses I have brought into the household as of late...

You know me, I let it all hang on my blog and so today I am going to give you the shock and awe of just how expensive my mistakes have cost my poor husband.

In other words, I would need to sell a heck of a lot of writing, no forget that, a novel with a healthy advance, to make up for it.

For Example...

Several weeks ago I went to pay a bill like the responsible adult I was trying to be.  Never. Again.
"Thank you for your payment, but did you realize you have a 300.00 charge with us from 2009 that insurance didn't cover?"

Dude. Seriously.  2009?  Why are you even bothering?  Don't you have some sort of write off account where all old bills go to die?  Oh yes, that would be collections.  Crap.
Apparently when my daughter had the H1N1 virus (don't ask) our insurance didn't cover all the expenses.  Nice of them to let me know, however I probably tossed it like I did all the bills...

Moving on...

I was in a car accident.  I was verbally assaulted by a uncool dad in a mini van - he had a cute pit bull though.  When he got up in my junk, calling me a psycho 'b^&t#, I lost my crap and swerved into a parked car.  So really, it's HIS fault and I let him know it.  At any rate, my insurance covered everything but naturally my rates are gonna soar.

Then...

(I'm beginning to sense a theme since most of expenses are coming from a certain Subaru.  I think it's time to sell the dang thing and get out the ol' 61 Schwinn cruiser from Monkey Wards.)

  Anywho...
I went to have my tires checked for air - tire light had come on.  For the record, we have replaced 9 tires in the past 3 months and yes, I have actually used up my ENTIRE Triple A benefit.  For reals.
Of course I get to a certain tire store and am promptly informed that my tire needs replacing, but "since it is an all wheel drive, we can't replace just one."
"OK, can I drive it for a little longer?"
"I'm telling you there is a 99.9 % chance you could have a blow out if you drive this car."
"So you are telling me there is a chance I WON'T have a problem?"
650.00 later...

Also...

Two library books went rogue.  Not to mention names,  but one of them was Mice and Men and the other was a vampire book.  Guess who was reading Steinbeck's Mice and Men?  Yep.  My kid.  I won't mention who was reading the vampire book...(cough, me, cough)  
All that to say, 30.00 down the drain.

While running errands....

I was stopped for a ticket (previously detailed in my blog).  300.00 bucks because I ignored a work zone?  What work zone?  I call bull sh*t.
By the way, this isn't over.  They chose to mess with the wrong mom...

I'm noticing every time I try to do something responsible, I get a bill for it.  To this I say, 'NO. MORE.'

  From here on out I am choosing the life of a felon, maybe I can get a price break...







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