Monday, January 26, 2015

My Kids Are Slobs

I'm not trying to dis my offspring here but it's common knowledge.  

My kids are total slobs.

I don't mean the occasional leave socks on the floor kind of slobs.  I mean the kind where life forms have gone to die under their beds kind of slobs.

Apparently, because my daughter is the 'creative artsy' type, she doesn't see the need for cleanup.

Thus begins the continual reminders, the nagging and the sifting through random piles of crap. This begs me to consider why I had kids in the first place.

Some examples?  Most recently I found 3 oranges worth of peels stuffed into my daughter's mug where she keeps all her pencils and pens.

Remnants of seaweed snacks from Trader Joes were discovered, crushed into oblivion between the wall and her bed.

3 glasses in which the remaining contents had morphed into penicillin, lined her shelf in a mock salute.

Wet towels and dirty clothes formed a mountain nearing the height of Mt. McKinley.

Empty bowls that once held oatmeal were stacked precariously like a Jenga game on her nightstand.

Half finished art projects lined every available space, embroidery ribbon and yarn were strewn about like silly string.

That was just one day's worth.

Basically she is turning into the college roommate no ones wants to have.

My son isn't much better.

I found an entire box of granola bar wrappers underneath my son's bed.  Yeah, turns out he ate the entire box.  In one sitting.  On his bed.

Seems he also has a penchant for cereal as I found the empty box underneath his dresser.

Folded clothes?  What folded clothes?  "I'll just pick from the pile I've created at the foot of my bed", is how my son rationalizes his behavior.

Those nasty Lego pieces designed by parent hating sadists in order to torture parent's feet?  All over the floor.

Mismatched dirty socks?  Cleverly placed to disguise the fallen Lego mini figures.

Sometimes I wonder by the time they take to hide their messes, wouldn't it just be easier to clean them up?

Apparently this method is much more entertaining.

I'm getting close to ordering a larger garbage can because after one day of hauling crap out, I'm just about out of space.  Although, there is a silver lining. I found all my missing dishes.

 I gave the kids one of my famous hell fire and brimstone sermons, warning them about the evils of hoarding.

Nothing like threatening them with a Leviticus style wrath of God to force them into shape.

Because that certainly sounds like a healthy way to parent, right?












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