The Den Of Iniquity

Like Meghan Trainor is all about her bass, I'm all about health.  At any given time you if you open my fridge you will find tubs of organic kale and spinach, locally brewed Kombucha, high protein Greek yogurts  and  Broccoli.

My pantry boasts quinoa, oats, flax and other healthy grains, (purchased in bulk mind you), coconut oil and nutrient rich molasses.

I can slam talk cooking couscous and roasting eggplant with the best of them.  I can speak Paleo, if necessary, I know the benefits of having a juicer and don't even get me started on the benefits of drinking apple cider vinegar on a daily basis.

I talk a good game but I truly believe in it.

Thing is, I do all that for my family.  Not so much for me.  There is a little corner of the fridge, my den of iniquity, that hides a special little ingredient.  It's called butter.  You won't find Earth Balance in there, only pure, unadulterated, delicious butter.

Butter has basically become the base in all my eating habits.  I slather it on sourdough toast, I heap it on a baguette at dinner, I bake pie, cookies, cakes and breads.  I melt a ton of it over popcorn and I go through like 3 lbs a week...

Yes.  3 Lbs.  I doubled it at Christmas and I gave none of my baking away.

I can only imagine what that equates to in pounds on my body.

I have always been fiercely proud of my cholesterol levels.  Every time I have labs drawn my physician reads my levels with wonder. I beam with pride and nod in agreement that yes, eating healthfully and exercising regularly truly pays off.

Except this time.

I went and checked my lab values online.  I know, can you believe you can do that now??

What I found shocked me and I'm not easy to shock.

Turns out this little butter ball suddenly has an elevated cholesterol score.  The top of my report showed a little red flag beside it to enhance it's visibility and importance.

My butter consumption has reared up and bit me in the butt.  I shouldn't be surprised.  Between the butter and the bacon and the whipped cream on my mocha....you get the idea.

So, what to do?  Well, for starters I'm going to make some gradual changes in what I eat and finally get my butt into yoga pants with the purpose of actually doing yoga. I'm going to incorporate more whole grains in my diet and then have my levels checked again.

I'm gonna start that right after I finish my toast....with butter. ...