Tuesday, June 9, 2015

10 Reasons Why My Son Is Going To Hate Middle School

Somehow my son graduated 5th grade today.

He is an official middle schooler and will head off to Jr High in the fall.

At some point someone broke into our house, stole my baby boy and replaced him with a young man who reeks of B.O and makes fart jokes.

I honestly never thought I would see the day where I would be the parent of functioning humans called middle schoolers.

Will is nowhere near ready for the huge transition that awaits him in the fall.  No amount of field trips to visit the school and orientations can prepare him until he experiences it first hand.

I have 10 reasons why my son will hate middle school.

1)  Locker combos.  I don't care how many times the 5th grade class held locker combo contests.  All I know is, my kid never won.  

2) Speaking of lockers....bottom lockers.  They suck and all the 6th graders get stuck with them.

3) 8th grade boys. You know the ones that are taller than their teachers and sport signs of leg hair and mustaches?  Yeah, those.  

4) Older siblings.  Specifically an 8th grade sister who will also be in attendance.

5) The cafeteria. The place reminds me of a scene from The Hunger Games, however in this case there is no Katniss Everdeen to save the day.  

6) The school bus.  No more leisurely strolls up to the elementary school while walking the dog.  Now we have our own breeding ground for various germs within a yellow box on wheels.  

7) Choir. No explanation needed.

8) Girls...So.Many.Girls.

9) Locker rooms. Oh joy.

10) The homework. Let's just say my son will no longer have time to play video games which will likely result in a mutiny.

Don't get me wrong, there will be a lot of positives for my son.  He will have the opportunity to continue friendships and make new ones. He will begin to realize higher grades require more responsibility.  He will take Spanish, web site design and (unfortunately), beginning trumpet.  

But sadly, there is only one thing my son is looking forward to in Jr. High. The free WiFi in 'study hall'.

Reminiscing the days of sweet innocence.



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