I've been blogging for almost 6 years. I still have only 14 followers and a staggering low numbers of readers. My google analytics reveal depressing stats in terms of growth and reach. It's only within the past year that I've started earning coffee money for my work.
You know what? It's OK.
It's OK because I have finally come to the conclusion that to me, writing is life.
Even if no one reads it.
Writing fuels me and gives me a sense of purpose.
When I finish writing a piece I feel relief. I find myself out of breath, like I just finished a work out. I suppose in a sense, I did. Except it's a mental work out.
My anxiety lessens, I feel more joy, my mind calms for a bit before a new barrage of jumbled sentences start clamoring for first place in my brain.
The ticket to my writing success does not depend on whether or not one of my articles goes viral, although that would be the shizz.
The ticket to my writing success is knowing that I do it for me and not anyone else. Writing for me captures a moment in my life and secures it's place in time. It puts an out of control thought to rest, giving it a home and an identity.
Often, I wake up in the night with possible topics, words and titles fluttering through my head and I roll over, look out over my balcony up to the night sky and breathe a sigh of thanks.
Thanks that I have something I can claim as mine. Gratitude for moments of creativity, imagination and possibility.
Those that have stuck around and offered generous words and thoughtful insight, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my journey, as small and insignificant as it is.
This past week I suffered through a bout of fear. Fear that I couldn't 'produce' enough fresh material for some of the sites I publish with. Enough fear that I gave notice to one of my publishers with the request to bow out. I assumed I would be relieved of my duties with a sigh of gratefulness from the editors that I was moving on.
What I received in return were open arms, encouragement and demand from one of my editors to 'pull up my granny panties and effing write.' She knows. The only way to overcome writer's block is to keep writing. Go out and embrace a new experience, even if it's just a walk in a new setting. Clear your mind, finish what you need to, step away for a bit but. never.stop.writing.
While writing may be my gig, climbing mountains may be yours. It doesn't matter. You know what DOES matter? Anything that gives you purpose, passion and fulfillment. Whatever it is, it deserves to be pursued with your entire being.
We were created to live to our full potential. Who are we to deny ourselves from such an existence?