Often I speak of self esteem on my blog and how I struggle with it. How we as women tend to struggle with it. It's real and it can seriously affect our potential, how we view ourselves and how we 'relationship', so to speak.
But I have really good reason why I battle this and I'll tell you why.
I'm always on the look out for possibility. Whether it's a job, a writing gig, a class or whatever, I try to challenge myself and break out of my comfort zone. It can be really difficult especially if rejection comes after putting your heart out there and trying in the first place. It brings me to a low place and I find the difficulty to climb out of it takes a while.
Recently I joined a job board on a website where you post your resume and then jobs are matched to your qualifications. I eagerly anticipate my "Recommended Jobs" email that comes every couple days. Never mind the fact that no one calls me for an interview....
But this. Oh but this. What WAS sent to me made me want to crawl in a hole and never emerge.
The first recommendation came in the form of a Marijuana Plant Trimmer for a growing (pun intended) dispensary here in Portland. The creepy thing is how did they know I know how to do that? Trust me, my childhood was quite unique and cultivating plants was one of my 'chores' as a child. For reals....
The second? A rare opportunity with a company called, "Funtastic". Perhaps you've heard of it? You know, the traveling amusement rides company?
Yeah, apparently I was matched as a traveling carnie, with the job title as Ferris Wheel Operator Specialist. Did I mention I would get to (ahem) travel?
I know, pretty enticing right? I won't make you jealous by telling you about the impressive salary.
A good friend of mine told me that as adults we don't place enough emphasis on our experiences. Life gets in the way and we tend to measure our success by our college degrees, credit scores, house and career. Experience is what really gives us meaning and a chance to be well rounded, fulfilled adults.
I beg to differ on this one. This kind of life experience I can do without. Although the unlimited cotton candy Funtastic offers as a perk DOES sound kinda worth it.